The Problem with Choosing
by dreamyhoney
Summary: postprom fic Secrets and gossip fly around fast on the grapevine..what happens when everyone is involved? what happens when you are faced with an unbelievable choice to make? can you make it? centrered around merder, addek, finmer...please review!
1. Chapter 1

so...this is my new story guys...its to make up for my other one...love never dies...ill update that asap...i have a littel bit of a writers bloc there..

so...this is to make up for it...this is one of my fav stories of mine and possibly the better one..filled wiht lots and lots of drama...so please make my day and review!!!!

wihtout further adue..here it is..

* * *

She was all alone in their bathroom. She lay on the floor, curled up in a fetal position. She had been like this for a few hours. In her hands was a test, the test. It was bright pink in color. Normally, she wouldn't mind the color but this was troubling. Because pink meant positive. Positive meant another life within her, already growing. But most of all, positive meant more complications. Positive possibly meant even more unhappiness.

Did she know whose baby it was? Of course she did. It was pretty obvious to her. It made things all the more complicated.

She couldn't really think right now. She didn't what to do. She was a surgeon. She saved lives but right now, her own life needed saving and she didn't know how to save it.

As she thought of all that had happened in the past year, everything she had been through with him, she knew that this positive was a sign. A sign that things could, and would get better. They just had to, because this could keep them together, forever. They were getting a second chance.

Suddenly, she heard a voice from outside.

"Hey! Are you ok? You've been in there for a long time. Don't you have to go the hospital?"

She lifted her head and sighed. "Yeah, I'm coming out Derek. Just give me a minute."

But Derek didn't wait as he heard a loud sob and so he immediately opened the door, to find her a complete wreck.

"Oh my god! What's wrong?"

"Derek, I told you to wait outside. I'm fine!"

"Well obviously not, because you-…" He trailed off in silence as he saw the test in her hand. The pink looked brighter than ever.

"Is that what I think it is?" Derek's tone was extremely faint.

"Now Derek don't freak out…"

"Are you Addison? - I mean for sure…"

"I am Derek…"

"And the baby's mine?"

She immediately replied, with no hesitation and complete confidence. "Yes."

"I...I can't do this right now…..I…I have to go." Derek's expression had turn completely pallor, to an almost ghost-like appearance.

"Derek, wait!"

But Derek was already out the door, its metal banging, breaking the silence and filling the emptiness.

* * *

Meredith gulped down the last of the Mylanta. And still, the sick feeling didn't go away. She had been like this for the past couple of weeks. Another wave of nausea hit her, as her stomach cramped in another intense contraction.

She tried to shake it off, as she had rounds in a few minutes. She swallowed her pain and sick feeling. It was probably nothing, just the stress of the upcoming first-year exams.

She made rounds just in time as she met up with everyone else.

"Mer you look like shit!" Christina was her usual harsh self.

"Gee thanks!...Ugh!"

"Aww! McVet and McDreamy getting you down?"

Before she could reply, this morning's breakfast came out in one heave.

"Grey!" This time Bailey took notice.

"Ugh…sorry Dr. Bailey…It must be all the stress of the exams coming up."

"Christina, help Dr. Grey. Take her to the bathroom, clean her up, and then give her an energy-boost pill." Bailey was unfazed by Meredith.

"Come on Mer." Christina helped Meredith to her feet and walked her to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Meredith was resting against the bathroom door trying to regain some composure.

Christina then said incredulously, "You're sick because of the upcoming exams?!"

"It's true. I mean what else could it be?"

"Oh come on Mer! You and I both know that you're too goddamn smart for your own good to be nervous." Christina was rolling her eyes in sarcasm. "Seriously though, why are you sick? Because you know you could be-…"

But she was cut off by Mer as she said tiredly, "I told you…"

"Ok Mer seriously, I don't buy that crap for one second. I know you're not telling me something, but have you ever though about this? That the pressure of dating a vet could be getting you while you slept with the dreamy neurosurgeon. Or even better-…." Christina starts to snicker.

"You're not helping." Meredith said indignantly as she stomped out the bathroom door, leaving Christina to her laughter.

"Wait…I didn't give you an energy-booster!..."

* * *

Later on, the interns were dealing with a patient. The girl had three ulcers in her stomach and needed an operation, preferably sooner than later.

"Ms. Braden, we can operate on you tonight at eight. Is that fine with you?"

"Yes that's fine and thank you Dr. Bailey."

They all left the room and headed towards the nurses' station as Christina noticed again that Meredith looked extremely pale.

"Mer, maybe you should ask for a leave from the Chief….it looks like this could be serious..." Christina seemed very concerned.

"Don't be ridiculous….I'll be-…." But Meredith was cut off again, as she threw up. This time she was luckier as it landed in a small garbage can.

"Holy Shit! Are you pregnant?!" Christina unfortunately yelled this out and so everyone around the nurses' station heard it, including nurses, interns, and doctors.

Meredith could do nothing but lift her head in fear and disgust.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

so heres another update guys!!! i hope u like it

and sorry for taking so long...been soo busy!!

remember..reviews really make my day in the midst of all the crap!!

"Dr. Yang, get a blood test taken and also her SATs." Dr. Bailey said in concern.

"Yes Dr. Bailey. Should I take Ms. Braden now?"

"No you damn fool! I meant tests for Meredith!"

"Oh! Oh...right. Yeah, sorry."

Christina replied with no hesitation, "Got it."

"Ow! Don't push so hard."

"Mer, you're a surgeon. I have to push this hard if I'm going to find out anything."

"But I'm a patient now. So be nicer."

"Whatever."

After a few seconds Christina added conspiratorially, "So…do you know whose it is?"

"I'm not pregnant." Meredith said forcefully.

"Sure Mer. Whatever you say." Christina shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Meredith looked hurt.

"Look Mer, remember I was pregnant. Yeah. So I know all the signs. Morning sickness, fever, weakness, stomach cramps. I mean come on. The signs are all there. Now all you need to figure out is whose baby it is." Christina said this last part cheerfully.

"You don't know! I could have an ulcer or something. Besides I haven't had sex since-.."

"Since prom?" Christina smirked at her.

Meredith glared at her.

Suddenly, Christina shifted to a puzzled expression. "Wait a minute. Oh my god! You've never had sex with McVet?"

Meredith looked away, guilt written all over her.

"Oh…..seriously Mer, you have to got to get out of that relationship now! I mean no sex?! Seriously!"

"So I guess the baby could be only McDreamy's."

"Oh wait a minute. I thought you said you weren't pregnant." Christina had amusement plastered on her face.

"I'm assuming alright?...Ow!" Meredith cried out as Christina pushed into her abdomen. "Was I this mean to you when you were pregnant?"

"Aww…how cute is this? You're McPregnant with McBaby."

Meredith gritted her teeth as she said, "I told you I'm-…."

But she was cut off as Bailey walked in and completed her sentence instead. "Pregnant, Grey. Congratulations."

Christina looked triumphantly back at Meredith with an expression that certainly said "I told you so!"

Meredith just looked horrified. _Crap! Now what?_

Just then, Addison saw Derek looking over some post-op notes at the nurse's station.

She walked over to him and before he could try and run away, she said firmly, "Derek we need to talk."

He gave a tired sigh. "Addison I told you, I can't deal with this right now."

"You never want to deal, Derek. Time's running out. We have to make a decision."

"About what?" He sounded exasperated.

"About whether we want to keep the baby. I'm already a month along. That's why we have to talk."

"Look, I understand that, but I can't do this in the hospital. Can it not wait till tonight?" He gritted out the last word.

"Fine Derek, but you know what? I just want to remind you one of the reasons it didn't work between us was because you wanted kids and I didn't. We have a real chance to make up for that. We can be a family now. Just keep that in mind." Addison's hopeful tone was not missed by Derek, as she walked away from him.

In response to her, Derek slammed a patient's file down on to the table and stalked away in the opposite direction of Addison, much to the shock and confusion of everyone around him.

"So….?" Christina looked expectantly at Meredith. They were both still in the exam room.

"So what?" Meredith wore an expression of confusion.

"So, are you keeping it?"

"Am I keeping what?" Meredith still looked extremely confused.

"Oh my god Mer! Do I need to spell everything out for you? God! Are you keeping the McFetus?"

"Christina! What kind of a question is that?" Meredith looked slightly appalled.

"What?! It's a perfectly legitimate question. I mean you're an intern Mer. Interns and kids don't go together. It's just not possible."

"Don't you think I know that? I mean I was the product of one such mishap!" Meredith screamed out her response.

"Then what the hell is the problem?!"

"I don't know. It's just….well…it is Derek's child."

"Yeah…so…?" Now it was Christina's turn to look confused.

"So…maybe I want to discuss it with him first."

"Are you kidding Mer?!"

"What's wrong with talking to him first?"

"In case you've forgotten, he's still married to Satan!"

"I know that, but…"

"But what?!"

Meredith just looked at Christina with a sad face.

"Oh my god, Mer….you're still pining for him, aren't you?"

Meredith's guilty look answered her.

"Meredith, you've got to get over him. I mean he's an ass for doing all that he did to you. And he's with Addison- what more of a reassurance do you want?"

"I know….It's just…well…maybe he might change his mind if I tell him I'm pregnant. He could right?"

"Yeah, he could; and Alex is going to start wearing furry, bunny pajamas to the hospital every day…" Christina's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Yeah….I suppose you're right…I mean I don't want to give birth to a kid who's going to have the same childhood like I did."

"Well I mean it's you decision Mer. Whatever. But you do have to do one thing."

"What?"

"Have we forgotten about McVet already?" Christina smirked at her.

"Oh crap! I guess I have to tell him sometime….preferably sooner than later."

"And another thing….what are you going to tell Bambi and Barbie?"

"Do I have to tell them?" Meredith was being whiny.

"I mean they live with you….so they're going to find out sometime. Would you rather have Izzie and George freak out now or later?"

"Good point."

After a few more minutes of comfortable silence, she added, "Just promise me one thing Christina? Please don't tell Derek. I've realized I can't deal with another possible rejection from him, at least not until I decide if I want to keep the baby or not." Meredith gazed sadly out into the distance.

"Sure Mer." This was the first kind thing, Christina had said sincerely, without a trace of sarcasm.

"Well I guess I'm going to try and find Izzie and George."

"Fine…see you later.


	3. Chapter 3

**_sorry for the late update guys!! this update is loaded with lots of angst, so hopefully that will make up for time..lol_**

**_R&R please!! _**

* * *

Meredith, George, and Izzie were all sitting together in the cafeteria, anxiously waiting for the news Meredith mentioned.

"Mer…whatever it is, you can tell us. We'll try and help you." Izzie was cautiously going out on a leap here.

"I don't think you can…" Meredith gestured sadly to herself.

"Why not?" George inquired

"The thing is….I was with someone, prom night."

"We know…Finn." Izzie said firmly but also seemed confused.

"No…I came with Finn…but I ended up with someone else…"

For a minute, both of them looked perplexed, then Izzie realized as her eyes popped open and her jaw became slack. "Oh my god! Mer, you didn't!"

She just returned a very guilty look. "I couldn't help it…."

"What?! What couldn't you help?" George was getting impatient.

"It's just I don't know it was like in the heat of the moment you know…" Meredith was trying to defend herself. "And it's not like I'm completely at fault here."

"Aww Meredith…." Izzie shook her head sadly.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on?" George yelled out his words.

"George! She had sex with Dr. Shepherd! Ok?" Izzie answered him in annoyance.

"She did WHAT??!!" George screamed out the last word.

"Sshhh…keep you voices down!" Meredith whispered in fear.

"But he's married…." George said stupidly.

"Yeah! She knows George! Everyone in this whole freakin' hospital knows! God!" Izzie increased her volume.

"Sorry…" George said guiltily.

"I don't understand Mer…. I mean he's still with his wife and you're still with Finn. It was a one-night thing, right?"

"See that's the thing…it wasn't…"

"You mean you're still sleeping with him???!!!" George screamed out.

"George!"

"Sorry…I'm listening…"

"It's not that…I thought I could forget about it, but something has come up that won't let me forget it…."

"Meaning…" Izzie said in confusion

"Meaning, we-….I mean…I'm pregnant."

George and Izzie just stared at her in shock, until Izzie asked her, "What are you going to do? I mean are you keeping the baby?"

"I don't know Iz….I don't know what to do…you know?" She sighed in sorrow.

"Oh Meredith….it's ok…we can figure this out…we're here for you ok?"

Despite his better judgement, George also agreed. "Yeah…we are always going to be here."

"Thanks guys…for being so understanding…" Meredith was grateful.

"Well at least I didn't let half the people in this hospital know!" Izzie said in amusement.

"Hey! I wasn't expecting it ok?" George took her seriously.

"But seriously Mer…I think that you should-…" Izzie was cut off as Meredith's pager beeped.

"Oh sorry guys! I have to go." Meredith said in a hurry as she hopped off the chair and headed inside.

"…..tell Derek first, before you do anything else…." Izzie trailed off into frustrated silence.

* * *

"Christina!"

"Jeez George! What?!" Christina jumped in irritation at George's tap on her shoulder.

"Do you know?...You know about Meredith…"

"Yeah. I was the one examining her."

"What is she going to do?" This time Izzie inquired.

"How the hell do I know?!"

"Well I mean…she didn't tell you?"

"No…she said she needed time to think Izzie."

"God! This is weird! Meredith being pregnant and all…."

"Bambi! Can you say that any louder, so that the entire hospital hears you??!!" Christina hissed in annoyance.

"Sorry…again.." George lowered his voice this time to a softer tone.

But it was too late, because they hadn't noticed a certain _dreamy_neuro-attending eavesdrop on everything they had said and then stomp away in frustration, anger, and fear.

* * *

Meredith sucked in her breath in fear as she watched the elevator door open to reveal a very pissed-off Derek, with his hands crossed in front of his chest.

Nonetheless, she walked in and stood as far away from him as possible in the elevator.

"Dr. Shepherd." Her voice was timid and small.

"Dr. Grey." He somehow managed to huff out her name.

The tension was so thick, you really could cut it with a knife.

"How's Finn doing?"

Meredith, taken aback by his question, softly replied, "He's fine…why do you ask?"

"Oh no reason at all! I just wanted to wish you all the happiness in the world….really!...you guys truly deserve it!" He yelled out the last phrase in fury.

"I don't understand Derek…what did I do?" Meredith was on the verge of breaking down.

"Oh don't play coy with me! It won't work!" Derek gruffly replied with a hint of sarcasm.

Before she could reply, the door pinged open and an unsuspecting Addison walked in.

"Dr. Grey." She coolly said.

"Dr. Shepherd." Her voice was quivering.  
Addison didn't notice her tone however, as she turned her attention to Derek, who purposely ignored the two of them.

Finally, the doors pinged open on the fourth floor and all three of them stepped out, each going opposite ways.

Derek stomped towards the left, with steam practically coming out of his ears.

Addison walked straight with confusion and apprehension written all over her face.

Meredith slowly dragged her feet towards the right with tears filling her eyes and spilling over as she went inside one of the on-call rooms and slammed the door behind her. She threw her frail body on to the bottom bed and started to cry in shock, fear, and unhappiness…..

* * *

Christina was furiously looking for Derek. She saw Meredith break down in front of her and was looking for him to confront. She finally saw him near an empty hallway, pacing back and forth.

She walked up to him and screamed behind him, "What the hell did you do to her?"

He turned around and said in reprimanding tone, "Dr. Yang I am your boss-…"

He was cut off by her when she yelled back at him, "Don't give me that crap! You know just for a few minutes, you're not my boss and I'm not you intern. You're the guy that broke my friend's heart over and over again. Are you trying to kill her? She has barely anything left and you're still screwing around with her except this time you're involving another life as well!"

Derek stood there the whole time silent, in complete shock.

Finally he regained his voice and said in a quiet, but dangerous tone. "You know I'm the one who's been screwed around with, not her!"

"Excuse me?! What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Christina said incredulously.

"You know….all of you do. And yet, I'm the one person who truly deserved to know and I had to find out by hearing it from the other interns."

"I still don't know what you're talking about." Christina knew very well what he was referring to but she wanted to keep her promise to Meredith.

Derek gave a huge sigh and he said, never changing his tone, "How could she keep this from me? She couldn't find one single minute in all the time that we spent together to tell me that she was freaking pregnant with Finn's child?!" Derek was completely furious.

"What the hell??!! Are you freaking kidding me?!" Christina matched his furious tone. "You are such an asshole...plus you are a complete idiot…"

"Ok…I've had just enough of this Yang.." Derek gritted his teeth.

"No…we're not done!...not even close…let me just tell you something, Mr. I'm so smart because I'm an neuro-attending - Meredith is pregnant with your child!"

"That is such a lie!" His tone was venomous. "We haven't been together since-.."

"Since prom right?!...yeah…Meredith never slept with Finn…only you…and you were acting so stupidly jealous, that you didn't even realize she's still head over heels in love with you!"

"Oh my god…it's my kid….?" Derek's tone was so faint.

"Yeah….it is…."

"Well why didn't she tell me?"

Christina gave a sarcastic laugh and said, "She was going to tell you moron!…you just weren't patient enough….you don't have the gall to be patient! You just want your cake and you want to eat it too."

"I had no idea…" Derek's voice turned faint with concern.

"Exactly! You didn't wait…you never think about her, only your goddamn self! Well here's the deal- either you go talk to her and make things ok or I will do whatever it takes to make your life hell. Got it? Either way, you don't get to screw with her anymore." Christina said this in a dangerous whisper. She didn't wait for a response as she stalked past him, out of the apparently empty hallway, leaving Derek alone, surrounded by his own feelings of shock and sorrow.

Unbeknownst to them, they weren't alone. A certain vet had heard everything they had said from his position behind the corner. He couldn't believe his ears as he stalked away raging, and with tears flowing down his cheeks; simultaneously throwing down the beautiful bouquet he had bought for her to the floor. They landed with a soft crash as the gorgeous, creamy lilies soon withered away from their brutal smothering.

* * *

_**What did you guys think??? too angsty?? too crazy?? let me know!! **_


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